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Posts Tagged ‘obama

Republicans Question Obama Happy Meal

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happymeal RNC (Republican National Committee) Chairman Michael Steele showed up at a Washington DC area McDonald’s restaurant today to question the front counter employee who allegedly sold President Obama a McDonald’s “Happy Meal” at lunchtime today.

“What has Barack Obama done to deserve a Happy Meal?” Steele asked, we’re not sure if he was asking rhetorically, when Real True Internet News contacted him today.

“Obama has done nothing but make me miserable”, said Steele. “If he was buying one of them Big Macs or Fishburger things I have no problem with that. But a HAPPY MEAL?! The audacity of the man shocks me. Next thing you know he’ll be handing out free Happy Meals to illegal immigrants on the public option of his health plan. Happy Meal my ass.”

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October 9, 2009 at 7:13 pm

Posted in USA Politics

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Obama Tries to Brainwash Children

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obama1Some parents are enraged over a speech President Obama is going to make on Tuesday, Sept 8. as our nation’s students head back to school.

“It’s absurd”, stated one parent, Twit Palin. “I can’t believe he’s actually going to say something like that… write a letter describing how you would help the president. Oh my God. It’s preposterous! I can’t believe it. It’s like he wants to eliminate the nation’s Christian day care centers and have all those kids working for him like mindless zombies instead of being in day care. I’m very upset.”

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September 5, 2009 at 10:01 am

Posted in USA News

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Christian Values Enrage Republicans

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20090618-healthcare Town hall meetings on health care found Republicans ranting about Obama’s proposed crack down on greed in the health insurance industry and offer of free health care for the uninsured.

One man identifying himself as “Joe the surgeon” told us “we (Republicans) only like to talk about values like kindness and generosity… we have no intention of actually demonstrating such silly values. Pretty soon Obama will be saying everyone should have FOOD and a PLACE TO LIVE too. My father worked hard to pay for the house I inherited from him. Well yeah so I got it for free but that’s different.”

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August 8, 2009 at 11:40 am

Obama’s Online Town Hall Meeting

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Obama’s online town hall meeting on Thursday launched a new era in politics where citizens are able to actively participate in the political process via the Internet.  The white house indicated that questions should only involve the economy. Posted questions were then voted up higher on the list or down lower on the list by other participants.

President Obama indicated that one of the top questions, receiving over 3.5 million votes, involved legalizing marijuana in the interest of helping the economy. It has long been argued that in addition to the savings that would come along with ceasing the apprehension and prosecution of marijuana users, heavy taxes could be levied on the product. Additionally, marijuana has been proven effective as a substitute for various pharmaceuticals.

In response to the question, Obama stated “well, it all depends on if we’re talking about cheap Mexican brick weed or if we’re talking about a 40th generation Northern Lights/Kush hybrid. Right now our border agents are mainly engaging smugglers from Mexico who don’t seem to understand that nobody wants that schwag anyway. We need to keep low potency marijuana out of America. Therefore, legalizing marijuana in itself will not help the economy; since we will suffer an influx of low grade Mexican and Colombian strains you can’t give away. Responsible legislation must also involve quality control. And… what was I saying? Lost my train of thought for a minute. Does anyone have any Chips Ahoy or a Snickers on them?”

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March 28, 2009 at 12:05 pm

British Prime Minister Brown and Obama in Talks

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Today, United Kingdom Prime Minister Gordon Brown and Obama are in talks at the white house.

Real True Internet News has an insider at the White House who planted a secret spy microphone last night so we could listen in on the meeting. White House anti-spy security measures made our microphone mostly useless but we did get about a minute of good audio.

OBAMA: French fries, really?

BROWN: Oh yes. I know you have potato chips here which you call chips but our chips are more like what you call French Fries.

OBAMA: They use a lot of halibut and cod here, and pollock in the really cheap places.

BROWN: Traditionally we’ve use haddock or cod, our chippies still stick to that tradition.

OBAMA: Chippies?

BROWN: Oh, that’s what we call the fish and chip shops.

OBAMA: … and you guys put vinegar on the chips, is that right?

BROWN: Malt vinegar, yah, I dunno how you Yanks can stand that tomato paste stuff on chips!

OBAMA: Michelle makes a secret sauce of some kind that I love. I think it’s just mayonnaise mixed with ketchup but she won’t tell me.

BROWN: Maybe she’ll share the recipe with me to bring home to England?

OBAMA: I’ll have to ask her. Because then her secret sauce won’t be a secret anymore.

BROWN: Well with the fish you know, it’s more about the thickness of the breading (at this point we lost the audio.)

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March 3, 2009 at 10:21 am

Magic Government Document Found in White House Trash

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election-magic-2382 Last week, First Lady Michelle Obama reports finding a document in the kitchen trash can that appears to have been written by former President George W. Bush which describes “magic” in government.

Michelle texted Real True Internet News from her husband’s BlackBerry mobile device to give us the details.

“I found this, it looked like a screenplay, in the kitchen trash. It talks about how the legislative branch of government creates laws, how the judicial branch of government enforces laws, and how the “magical” branch of government overrides them both. Apparently President Bush wanted to change the name of the executive branch of government to the magic or magical branch. It’s quite an interesting document actually, Bush talks about how he vetoed bills and issued pardons which to him felt like he was performing magic because he could just override and cancel out dozens of people’s work and many years of work.”

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January 31, 2009 at 11:38 am

Obama Claims “Time Shifting” Defense

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obama_plane Recent grumblings from Republican politicos claiming that Obama is doing “too much” before he is sworn into office on January 20, 2009 elicited this response from President Obama. OK, President Elect Obama.

“I’m sure you’re all familiar with the famous Supreme Court ruling in Sony Corp. of America v. Universal City Studios, Inc., also known as the “Betamax case”, which was a decision ruling that the making of individual copies of complete television shows for purposes of time-shifting does not constitute copyright infringement, but is fair use.

Time shifting means you record a television show on Monday night then you watch it Saturday afternoon. Maybe you skip the commercials too.

So what I’m doing now, is merely time shifting instructions to my staff and cabinet. By the time January 20 comes around and I’m officially President of the United States, these instructions will be there, ready for play back. I’m not infringing on President Bush in any way. I’m just time shifting my presidency.”

Republican strategists are scrambling to find a case precedent for filing suit against Obama, but don’t expect to be able to have a case heard by January 20.

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January 9, 2009 at 9:26 am