The Real True Internet News

The real true news. Don’t believe those big media sites!

Archive for May 2009

Las Vegas Reproduction Built on Jupiter

leave a comment »

Las Vegas strip aerial view

Las Vegas strip aerial view

Today, Las Vegas Mayor Oscar Goodman announced that a top secret project started in 2003 has been completed… a highly detailed replica of Las Vegas has been constructed on the planet Jupiter. We wouldn’t have believed this story at all had we not seen photographs of the project, as shown to the left.


Mayor Goodman left us a voice mail message in response to our inquiries. (We left him a few voice mail messages asking why a reproduction of Las Vegas was constructed in such a remote and uninhabitable location such as Jupiter.)

“You have to understand that when a person or corporation has more money than they know what to do with, they can’t just keep doing what they’ve been doing. Steve Wynn started planning his ultimate fantasy project (the Wynn resort) in 2002 and it ended up costing only $2.7 billion. What’s a trillionaire to do? Yeah, he threw a few more billion into Encore at Wynn, which opened late last year… but his real dream project was Jupiter. Steve and a few other investors launched Project Jupiter in 2003. This is an exact copy of the Las Vegas strip from Mandalay Bay on the south end to the Stratosphere at the north end, and also includes the nearby off-strip resorts like the Hard Rock and Palms. It’s an exact copy except for the people, of course. If a person could be transported instantly to Jupiter they’d die within about a millisecond due to the poisonous atmosphere, subzero temperatures, and incredible gravity. I’d weigh about 2 tons on Jupiter. The gravity was the biggest problem on this project – special materials had to be used to prevent the buildings from collapsing. It was all built by giant robotic cranes and robotic construction crews. After they finish the bubble dome over the reproduction that will let them create an Earth-like atmosphere and artificial Earth-like gravity, they’ll launch the Jupiter Junket space flight packages. Round trip spacefare and 2 nights in the hotel of your choice will run about $40 million and it also takes about 10 years to get there and 10 years to get back; but the suspended animation option makes it feel like about a 2 day trip. No big deal. The most interesting thing about this project is that no laws exist on Jupiter. It could end up being a haven for blackjack card counters, prostitutes, drug dealers, and casino cheats. We’ll see what happens.”

Written by spamtrap

May 1, 2009 at 12:51 pm