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Archive for March 2009

Obama’s Online Town Hall Meeting

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Obama’s online town hall meeting on Thursday launched a new era in politics where citizens are able to actively participate in the political process via the Internet.  The white house indicated that questions should only involve the economy. Posted questions were then voted up higher on the list or down lower on the list by other participants.

President Obama indicated that one of the top questions, receiving over 3.5 million votes, involved legalizing marijuana in the interest of helping the economy. It has long been argued that in addition to the savings that would come along with ceasing the apprehension and prosecution of marijuana users, heavy taxes could be levied on the product. Additionally, marijuana has been proven effective as a substitute for various pharmaceuticals.

In response to the question, Obama stated “well, it all depends on if we’re talking about cheap Mexican brick weed or if we’re talking about a 40th generation Northern Lights/Kush hybrid. Right now our border agents are mainly engaging smugglers from Mexico who don’t seem to understand that nobody wants that schwag anyway. We need to keep low potency marijuana out of America. Therefore, legalizing marijuana in itself will not help the economy; since we will suffer an influx of low grade Mexican and Colombian strains you can’t give away. Responsible legislation must also involve quality control. And… what was I saying? Lost my train of thought for a minute. Does anyone have any Chips Ahoy or a Snickers on them?”

Written by spamtrap

March 28, 2009 at 12:05 pm

British Prime Minister Brown and Obama in Talks

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Today, United Kingdom Prime Minister Gordon Brown and Obama are in talks at the white house.

Real True Internet News has an insider at the White House who planted a secret spy microphone last night so we could listen in on the meeting. White House anti-spy security measures made our microphone mostly useless but we did get about a minute of good audio.

OBAMA: French fries, really?

BROWN: Oh yes. I know you have potato chips here which you call chips but our chips are more like what you call French Fries.

OBAMA: They use a lot of halibut and cod here, and pollock in the really cheap places.

BROWN: Traditionally we’ve use haddock or cod, our chippies still stick to that tradition.

OBAMA: Chippies?

BROWN: Oh, that’s what we call the fish and chip shops.

OBAMA: … and you guys put vinegar on the chips, is that right?

BROWN: Malt vinegar, yah, I dunno how you Yanks can stand that tomato paste stuff on chips!

OBAMA: Michelle makes a secret sauce of some kind that I love. I think it’s just mayonnaise mixed with ketchup but she won’t tell me.

BROWN: Maybe she’ll share the recipe with me to bring home to England?

OBAMA: I’ll have to ask her. Because then her secret sauce won’t be a secret anymore.

BROWN: Well with the fish you know, it’s more about the thickness of the breading (at this point we lost the audio.)

Written by spamtrap

March 3, 2009 at 10:21 am