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Archive for February 2009

Republican Senators Draft Stimulus Alternative

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Republican senators have drafted a stimulus alternative to President Obama’s stimulus plan.

Real True Internet News briefly spoke with Senator Frank Booth (R – Alabama) about this alternative stimulus package.

“We KNOW how to stimulate the economy cuz we done it before. Obama don’t know doodley squat. Right? What does Mr. Harvard Law Graduate Millionaire know about Main Street? Squat. That’s what.

So we Republicans are taking control, whether Obama likes it or not, because our plan will work.

To hell with creating jobs. Don’t nobody want more jobs. Most of us hate our damn jobs so why would we want MORE of that crap? No. 800 billion dollars sure buys a lot of PABST BLUE RIBBON though! You fuckin A betcha! We’re buying the whole brewery and replacing all city drinking water with PABST BLUE RIBBON. You’ll bathe and shower in PABST. You will drink PABST from your bathroom and kitchen faucets. Your dog will drink PABST out of the toilet. You’ll water your lawn with PABST.

Now THAT is a real stimulus package.”


Written by spamtrap

February 2, 2009 at 3:53 pm

CNN To Cover Icelandic Politics

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CNN launched its new format today with the story First gay premier takes helm in Iceland.

Real True Internet News interviewed CNN’s director, Joe Conn, today via telephone.

RTIN: We were told that CNN has switched over to a new format today.

Conn: Yes.

RTIN: … can you tell us more about it?

Conn: Oh. OK. Well, ever since Obama was elected president, we’ve been at kind of a loss about what events to report on. Reporting on Election 2008 was like having a Super Bowl every day for about 3 months. Then suddenly it’s all over and we’re picking up stories from the AP wire like everyone else.

RTIN: So you introduced this new format, which is…

Conn: Well, we’re now a 24 hour Icelandic politics station. Obama vs. McCain was nothing compared to Icelandic politics. They’re very dramatic and passionate about their politics over there. People may think they’re not interested in Icelandic politics, but after just 10 or 15 minutes of watching, you’ll be hooked.

Written by spamtrap

February 1, 2009 at 10:49 am