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Archive for October 2008

McCain Concedes Election

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In an unprecedented surprise announcement today, Senator John McCain has stated that he concedes the Election 2008 contest for President of the United States.

Real True Internet News attended a party at Senator McCain’s ranch in Arizona Saturday night to watch Governor Palin’s performance on NBC’s Saturday Night Live and listen to McCain’s concession speech.

Obama is so far ahead in the polls that I decided to save myself the embarrassment of losing the election in a landslide. By conceding, instead of going down in history as a loser, people will have to wonder “well maybe he would have won if he hadn’t conceded.” Right?

I feel good about this campaign. While I won’t become President, I did help an unknown middle class mother from a small town in Alaska work her way into a guest appearance on Saturday Night Live. Governor Palin has a bright future ahead, thanks to me. She’ll surely be getting book and movie deals, appearing on all the talk shows, and NBC is considering asking her to be a regular cast member on SNL. Hugh Hefner has shown some interest in taking her on as a fourth girlfriend.

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October 19, 2008 at 11:18 am

All Banks are now Taco Bell

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In a surprise announcement today, Secretary of the Treasury Henry Paulson stated that in addition to the federal government purchasing all the banks in the United States, they will be converted into Taco Bell restaurants.

Real True Internet News had lunch with Secretary Paulson at a local Washington, D.C. Taco Bell to get the details.

Well, it’s just common sense. Taco Bell has had great success and high profitability selling low priced food items like 59 cent tacos and 79 cent burritos. They’ve been in business since 1962. It’s a proven business model. Now, we’ve seen what happened with the business model banks were using… which is basically a pyramid scheme or Ponzi scheme. “Give us $1,000 and we’ll give you back $1,050 in a year.” Yeah right. There’s no product, no service. No inventory, no work to do. “Just let your money work for itself.” A pure hustle. And as is the case with pyramid schemes, they ultimately collapse.

You gotta have a product people can USE. If you were stranded on a desert island for the rest of your life, would you rather have a box full of taco shells and tortillas or a box full of money? Heh, I’d pick the money if there was no firewood but otherwise fish tacos are tastier than a five dollar bill.

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October 14, 2008 at 4:03 pm

Posted in USA News

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Bailout Plan Approved

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Congress rejects the bailout plan… and the stock market crashes. Government officials warn there will be gloom and doom if the bailout is not approved. So Congress approves the bailout plan… and the stock market crashes. Gloom and doom happen anyway.

Except for the employees of the bailed out companies.

ABC News reports AIG Execs Head to California Resort.

AIG documents obtained by Waxman’s investigators show the company paid more than $440,000 for the retreat, including nearly $200,000 for rooms, $150,000 for meals and $23,000 in spa charges.

“They’re getting their pedicures and their manicures and the American people are paying for that,” said Cong. Elijah Cummings (D-MD).

Real True Internet News enjoys a good joke. But this is no joke. American patriots should consider the words of the Declaration of Independence:

That to secure these rights, governments are instituted among men, deriving their just powers from the consent of the governed. That whenever any form of government becomes destructive to these ends, it is the right of the people to alter or to abolish it, and to institute new government, laying its foundation on such principles and organizing its powers in such form, as to them shall seem most likely to effect their safety and happiness.

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October 7, 2008 at 2:29 pm

Posted in USA News, USA Politics

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