The Real True Internet News

CNN reports a fake priest was caught trying to hear confessions in St. Peter’s Basilica and was tried by a Vatican tribunal, a Vatican judge said in an interview published Saturday.

Real True Internet News held a video conference with our correspondent in Rome, Father Guido Sarducci, who explained the incident.

“You could fool the Vatican police, you could fool churchgoers, you could maybe even fool the Pope; but you cannot fool God. This fake priest, he was very stupid, thinking he could fool God; who is the boss of priests. It doesn’t matter what you do. You could put on a big floppy hat, a priest suit, a fake mustache, whatever. God still sees who you are. I’m surprised this priest impersonator didn’t just burst into flames when he entered the holy area of the church. I bet it was Jesus who saved him. You know how God is always all angry and shouting at Moses and punishing people but Jesus says be nice. I think Jesus has the same power as God, so maybe it was Jesus spotted the fake priest first before God could make him burst into flame or turn into a pillar of salt. But it’s the same thing either way. You cannot fool omnipotent omnipresent beings. What the heck was this guy thinking!?”